Not so long ago I had an exchange on Twitter with Nicky Campbell, he of Radio 1 fame (back in the day before he was tainted by Watchdog, Five Live and The Big Questions) about the occasionally dull Cbeebies show, My Story.
As you will see, I’m quite capable of toadying up to celebs…
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(Inspired by the insane story of Meat Loaf looking for a property in Hartlepool a few years ago…)
PRESENTER: Once in a while, it is a duty that we all have to make contact with the political side of life. All around us, New Labour, Conservatives, Liberals and Independents discuss the future and current running of our grand country. To join Europe or not? To raise taxes, to lower interest rates?
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Mayor of my home town, Mr Barry Meat. Hello Barry!
BARRY MEAT: Ey up son.
P: So Mr Mayor
BM: Oh, call me Barry, please.
P: Barry – you were, and are still best known for your career as a rock star. How can you justify a move into politics? Read the rest of this entry »
George W Bush’s expected trip to Switzerland was not in fact called off due to human rights protests over Guantanamo Bay as previously thought; in fact he’s said to be enjoying himself thoroughly in Swaziland.
If humans and apes share 97% DNA, does that mean we’re only 3% superior?
Could the increase in potato crisp sales prompted by the economic downturn lead to more jobs on potato farms? Or just a nation who has no idea what smokey bacon is supposed to taste like?
George Osbourne is appealing to members of the public to help with the March 23rd budget using a government website “crowdsourcing” initiative. Sadly none of the public suggestions made so far are polite (or hygienic) enough to be used.
Peaches Geldoff confirmed that there is absolutely nothing strange whatsoever at all about Scientologists when she expressed her opinion in Company magazine that Ed and David Miliband are both “fit” and “suave”.
And not before time, I’m back.
Once again I’ve had my home on the web overtaken by domain-squatting cybernerds, the type you’d regularly see playing “tigs on high ground” before the invention of the Internet. These sociopaths seem to have taken to sending random hack attacks in the direction of this site, which my more techy assistants (the kid next door whose best friend is a PS3) tells me will probably easy off over time.
But enough of this, I’m well and truly back. Read the rest of this entry »
Back in 2010 I entered a script into The Sitcom Trials, with the finals taking place at The Lass O’Gowrie in Manchester. This was my first complete (well, ten minutes of it) comedy script and was performed on the night. Sadly it didn’t win, but I learned a great deal from it.
Based on the barely-known job of the Riding Officers of the North Yorkshire coast in the 18th century, the script reads and sounds a bit like Blackadder. I don’t quite think that can be helped, and while the script didn’t win, it raised a few laughs.
So that’s a nice consolation. Here is an audio of the performance:
Here is the Music Player. You need to installl flash player to show this cool thing!
Hope it gives you a chuckle…
You can also read the first chunk of the script below. Read the rest of this entry »